But not all that glittered was garbage.
There was Guns N' Roses.
From the groundbreaking release of Appetitie For Destruction through their crowning achievements Use Your Illusions I and Use Your Illusions II, there was a half-decade stretch where what one could argue was the last great, take-no-prisoners rock'n roll band gave us some of the finest balls-out rock that we'd ever hear in our lifetimes. Emerging from the ashes of glam rock and hair metal, and before the Seattle Rising, the Guns broke the mold on what we had come to expect from just about every classic rock n'roll album we bought since The Wall.
While we were only blessed with the aforementioned three albums and the re-release of and EP made up of covers and acoustic live tracks in that period (as far as I'm concerned, the Spaghetti
As most great things must come to an end, we were deprived of additional albums and tours throughout our adulthood, but that's on the precipice of changing with a confirmed headline at Coachella (Which admittedly I'm still not sure what EXACTLY that is, all I know is that it gave me one of the 10 best youtube clips ever) and strong rumors of a North American Stadium Tour, it's becoming clearer and clearer that the greatest resurrection in AT LEAST 1,982 years is about to take place. In honor of the reunion to end all reunions, and the thirty year anniversary of the band's 1986 formation, here are the Top Thirty Guns N' Roses songs of all time.
In lieu of thirty annoying YouTube clips, you can listen to the playlist in its entirety here if you're a Google Music subscriber. (And you should be, if you had your own digital music collection before streaming became the norm)
#30. The Garden (Use Your Illusions I) I remember thinking how cool it would be if the New York Rangers used this as their "official" anthem taking the ice before home games at Madison Square Garden. They didn't. And proceeded to choke in the playoffs that year.
#29. Knocking On Heaven's Door (Use Your Illusions II) If ever there was a song written by Bob Dylan to be perfectly covered by another artist, well, it was definitely "All Along the Watchtower" and Jimi Hendrix. But a close second would have to be "Knockin'".
#28. Coma (UYI1) One of, if not the most underrated tracks the band ever recorded. Primarily a Slash creation, Axl's finishing touches and lyrics combine to give this a feeling of an homage to earlier extended musical epics like "Shine on You Crazy Diamond" or "The End".
#27. Rocket Queen (Appetite For Destruction) Musical Pornography. Literally. I have some friends who would rank this song much higher. I just can't put it above any of the next twenty six.
#26. You're Crazy (AFD) This won't be the only song to appear twice. I remember loving the frenetic nature of this when I first heard the album. A little later, I'd prefer it slowed down a bit.
#25. 14 Years (UYI2) I've had many a discussion over drinks at all hours of the day as to whether Appetite or Illusions 2 was the band's best album. Many of these arguments have been with myself. Among the stronger evidence in favor of UYI2 is the vocal collaborations and the uniqueness they offer the record as a whole. Izzy Stradlin completely owns this track.
#24. You Could Be Mine (UYI2) - Enjoy this a hell of a lot more than "Terminator 2", of which it was featured in. However, because of the T2 connection, this song was released months ahead of the official album release. We basically went from Thanksgiving 1988 to Memorial Day 1991 without any NEW Guns N Roses. I'm not sure if this band is familiar with substance abuse and what happens when a junkie can't find his fix, but getting new GN'R to kick off the summer before I started high school was a much needed RX.
#23. Live And Let Die (UYI1) You better be really talented or really arrogant if you think you can cover both Dylan AND Paul McCartney on widely released albums. No arguments on both counts. I credit this track with making me interested in Sir Paul's post-breakup work. I still prefer Lennon.
#22. Don't Cry (Original) (UYI1)
#21. Don't Cry (Alternate) (UYI2) - Really splitting hairs here, I slightly prefer the condescending nature of the Alternate version. Regardless, the lasting impact of this fantastic ballad was the introduction to Shannon Hoon, which in turn led me to eventually purchase "Blind Melon" when it was released, which eventually became one of the best purchases I ever made.
#20. So Fine (UYI2) See #25 and swap Izzy Stradlin for Duff McKagan. I have friends who think this song is a total joke. I have friends who love it. I find both statements to be wholesomely true. Yes, it is chock full of unintentional comedy lyrically and vocally. But after an estimated 5500 listenings, you can't help but admire it. Some of my friends may disagree, but my friends, they always come through for meeaaaaaah.
#19. Out Ta Get Me (AFD) When I make Top "X" Lists, I've always assigned items an A/B/C/D grade to start and then sort from within the grades. (Note that "D" doesn't mean the same as it would in school, just that it's in the lower 1/4 - give or take - of all items under consideration). Anyway, this was the line of demarcation between "C" and "B", moving from "Very Good" to "Great". It's just a coincidence that it falls on the nice even line between 20 and 19. Point being, we're moving into some pretty heady territory. Sometimes it's easy to forget where you're going.
#18. Used To Love Her (GN'R Lies) - I was in sixth grade when I first heard this song. Got "Lies" from Santa that year. Twelve years old, eight years into a 10 year sentence to a Catholic Madrasa, still very indoctrinated. In a jolly, upbeat acoustic act Axl sings "I used to love her, but I had to kill her". My conscience said "He's singing about killing his girlfriend, that's a mortal sin!!!!" But then the first signs of the stronger, more logical inner voice in my head said "Fuck it man, it's Rock N Roll". Was a weird mix of relieved and disappointed to eventually find out it was about Axl having to put his dog down.
#17. Paradise City (AFD) Because every great band in the 1980's needed a go-to Strip Club song.
#16. Get In The Ring (UYI2) Personal and inside memories elevate this song on my list much higher than it likely should be. But let's just say it's probably not the best tune to belt out word for word after 8 hours of drinking in your early twenties on a family-oriented bus trip to Yankee Stadium.
#15. Nightrain (AFD) There have been better songs written about drinking. That's an assumption, because I don't know if I've heard them before.
#14. One In A Million (LIES) Tread lightly here, I should. But screw it. I'll step on the third rail. If you're unfamiliar with how, um, interesting this song can be, read this 1992 article or at least do a CTRL+F on "One in a Million". Let me first say that the language and slurs used in this track are deplorable and have no use in the modern dialect. And I'll add that there's no way in hell this song gets released by this band (or any) in 2015. But what I admire about it is the raw emotion, the bluntness in which Rose describes his arrival in seedy mid-80's Los Angeles from lillywhite rural Indiana. To say it was a culture shock would be underselling it, it might as well have been a different planet. Much like watching "All in the Family" today, you can't quite get where it's coming from and your first instinct is to be appalled at some of the language. But in terms of first person perspective from what is now considered a much different time, this is artistic brilliance. Or, maybe Axl was just a blatantly ignorant homophobic racist and I'm giving him too much credit.
#13. Yesterdays (UYI2) I've long felt that you can get better life lessons - and be a better person - by absorbing certain rock'n roll lyrics rather than reading the Bible, Torah, Koran, the Noble Eightfold Path or The Catcher in the Rye. "Yesterdays" is one of those songs. The whole song is one giant lesson on moving forward and not allowing yourself to wallow in the past. A much cooler and bad ass version of Fleetwood Mac's "Tomorrow". How gangster would it have been if Bill Clinton used THIS as a campaign song?
#12. You're Crazy (LIES) Yes. The acoustic/"Lies" version of this tune is THAT much better. I always wished I was remotely musically inclined because I'd have loved to play this exact song in the middle of a dorm suite in college at 2 in the morning with a can of cheap beer at my foot and a Parliament burning in the ash tray.
#11. My Michelle (AFD) The last of the songs graded "B", and again, I swear it wasn't intended to be broken up into even tens. Recently read Slash's autobiography. Michelle sounds like just the gem you'd imagine she did after listening to this.
#10. Welcome to the Jungle (AFD) And we enter the pantheon. This may very well be the greatest pure rock anthem ever recorded. It's one of those songs you know the first time you hear it how special it'll be. In a sense I find it comparable to Springsteen's "Born in the USA" in the sense that the masses hear it and think it's something completely different from what the lyrics and composition suggest. Gritty and honest, it's stood the test of time.
#9. Patience (LIES) What a welcome departure from the incessantly dreary break-up songs of it's day. Ever been around a bunch of people drinking and singing along to this? The anticipation in the buildup as the bridge is ending and the repetition of "a little patience" rises as everyone prepares to belt out "I'VE BEEN WALKING THESE STREETS AT NIGHT...." Also, there's always that one person who can't whistle for shit. That's usually me.
#8. It's So Easy (AFD) Ah, sweet memories. The routine when I was a young child just discovering music would be to play "the big single" or "known songs" 100 times before exploring the rest of the album. And I did this in the cassette era, which was exponentially more difficult than the vinyl, 8-Track, CD and especially MP3 era. The first time I let it roll after "Jungle" into this iconic song I was just humming along, nodding my head, and then it came: "I see you sitting there, you think you're sooooo cool. Why don't you just.......F U CK O F F !!!!!!". Holy shit! I have an album with curses on it! Life was forever changed. Though I quickly learned, being eleven years old in a house with three younger siblings that if I wanted to keep the cassette, blasting this was not an option. But boy, when I got my driver's license.....
#7. Sweet Child O' Mine (AFD) Take some of the most romantic lyrics ever written and let these guys have their way with it and you get this masterpiece. Everything about this song is pure beauty. The picture that's painted of "Sweet Child", the sheer bellows that Axl lets out, the "Where Do We Go?" and of course, arguably the greatest guitar intro in the history of recorded music.
#6.Civil War (UYI2) When I was in college, between 1995-1999, there was a local brewpub that became a game-changer to my friends and I. What do you mean that all beer doesn't have to taste like very cold piss? Move over Milwaukee's Best! To this day most of us are quite selective in our choice of beers. Alas, the Mountain Valley Brewpub was too far ahead of it's time. They were TOO ahead of the craft beer explosion. There wasn't enough of an appreciation to sustain. Now of course, the downtown area where she was is littered with pubs offering nothing but craft. That's "Civil War" to me. A song of great political importance, reflecting on the lessons of Vietnam and warning against blindly following ill-intended leaders and being easily manipulated by propaganda didn't resonate in the early 1990s. We didn't remember Vietnam, and Gulf War I lasted about as long as Dances With Wolves. But push that up by a decade and it fit brilliantly in the post-9/11 Bush-Era paranoia that gripped this country. It will just never be recognized for it.
#5. Mr. Brownstone (AFD) There have been other songs written about heroin abuse before Brownstone. But to this day, and encompassing the bombardment of music written about the drug after it took so many artists from us in the 90's and beyond, I don't think a song has ever captured the regression of addiction the way the guys do on this track. What I've found more interesting as time goes on is how the band comes off as arrogant in so much of their music but they so openly expose and express their vulnerabilities in "Mr. Brownstone". Fantastic song.
#4. Breakdown (UYI2) There's a very good chance that if you asked 10,000 diehard GN'R fans to rank their 30 favorite songs, nobody may have "Breakdown" higher than me. And I don't care. The song's got everything. Clever lyrics. Relevant subject matter. Insanely sharp vocals. Slash playing a freakin' BANJO. Every verse ends with such strong prose. Get's a little jumpy at the end but the final verse is among the best music I've ever heard.
#3. November Rain (UYI1) Simply put, the song that eventually broke the band up. Dare I say it was almost worth it? There's an interesting moral dilemma for you: Would you rather November Rain never recorded and have another 25 years of GN'R? Or were you willing to live with the extended breakup for having this gem for eternity. As strange as it sounds, I'm in the latter camp. Everything about this song is amazing. And for 24 autumns now I have played this on the medium du jour the first time I noticed precipitation in the eleventh month of the year.
#2. Think About You (AFD) A perfect example of how timeless Appetite is. 8 years after it's release, I'm a senior in high school. Hormones going wild, world is my oyster, all that jazz. All I needed was a weekend, a half a tank of gas and this girl I was dating at the time and I was good to go. Despite a heavy diet of Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Weezer and Green Day, this track was one of the preeminent songs that I associated with that budding relationship. It was the lead track on the first of more than a few mix tapes I made her. After all, even in the ever-changing tastes of The American Teenager, GN'R was a constant. And 21 years after I recoded that mixed tape, we're still together. Which is more than I can say for Axl, Slash and the boys...until now.
#1. Estranged. Not just the greatest Guns N' Roses song of all time. The greatest song of all time period. If you talk to anyone who REALLY loved GN'R in their day, as in "over the last 30 years I've owned these assholes on vinyl, cassette, bought Appetite on CD five times and once on iTunes" loved them, they'll tell you the same thing. A few years ago I polled five of my friends who love the Guns the way I do on their top 10 songs. There was a lot of diversity between 2-10. #1 was unanimous. Over the years on social media I'll see other people reference it as well. Nine minutes and twenty four seconds of pure genius. In every way, shape of form. The ultimate composition. The bass line is mesmerizing. The drum is brilliant. Slash bleeds. Axl's range is out of this world and the lyrics are second to none.
I can't wait to hear it live this summer.
